Day XIII

Blogger ate a compendium post of the last 4 days. I'm not re-posting
it.

No cleaning today. My spirit was broken once I realized that I will be
leaving for Hawai'i in 2 days and can't possibly finish my first pass
here before then. This, in turn, will let wild animals run amok in my
place. It's hard to imagine how that's a good thing.

One big day tomorrow, then nothing.

Pray for me.

Quote of the Moment

"There are no limitations. There is no lack in the universal mind of
which we are all part. Whatever you dare ask for you will be given.
Watch yourself. Watch your thoughts. If you're thinking, 'I'll never
meet somebody who _____ etc.,' you never will. Immediately invert the
thought to something like this: 'I'm am now attracting someone who
_____' etc." (sic)

-- Sondra Ray, "I Deserve Love"

Days IX - XII

A whole bunch of stuff not related to killing rats. Moved my office,
bought a small stereo and met a friend that I tried (and failed) to keep
from walking over the edge.

I appear to have committed some gigantic crime in the next reality over
heinous enough that i'm forced to repeat conversations with the people
in this one as a low-form of pennance. It's happening with multiple
people. I'm tired of it.

I voted ...

... And used some, but not all of your suggestions, Martin (I would have
used all of Mikkel's, but he demured).

I truly appreciate your effort. But for someone who doesn't see a
political spectrum in America, you sure pinned a lot of Democrats.

A much longer write-up (including who I voted for) is coming ... don't
expect it until after the 1st of the year.

Oh, and I asked for a paper ballot, creating an unbelievably high level
of confusion at the polling station. Any of you spudnuts who complained
about butterfly ballots before (almost certainly party-line voting
Democrats), had better not bitch about computerized voting -- you
brought this little monster on yourselves.

b1, by any other name

well, well, well ...

someone has cracked the connection between the remote posting capability
of blogger and the account here ... check out the salutation.

-----Original Message-----
From: Eventvibe VIP <list@eventvibe.com>
Subject: This Fri - Chris Fortier @ On Broadway - NYE 2007 Tix Now On
Sale!!!
Date: Tue, 07 Nov 2006 15:55:50 -0800

rat, XXXXX@tmail.com

Fri, Nov 10th

eventvibe.com:
CHRIS FORTIER
@ On Broadway
This Fri, Nov 10th

Southern California's Premiere Promoters & Event Website are proud to
invite you to...

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Add Me To Chris Fortier @ On Broadway Nov 10th 2006 Guest List!!!!!

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{blah, blah, blah}

Day VIII

No rat killing today.

Instead I ate dinner with the guy who was Hunter Thompson's editor at
Rolling Stone for "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas."

Light(er) day tomorrow. Have to move stuff out of my office at work.

Quote of the Moment

B1,

Sitting here in the Math Lab signing your yearbook is slightly different
than doing the same last year...But then, many things have been
"slightly" different for me this year and you are primarily
responsible! There is no way to express all my feelings towards you in
so small a space and so short a time, but I will try to get to the
"meat" of it anyway.

I have to say "thank you" for everything. All the times we went out and
especially our "deep" conversations are greatly appreciated. I still
feel you have helped me grow up and know myself better, and no matter
what you say, *not* "just anyone" could have helped me in the way you
did! It is your special combination of humor, perserverance and caring
which make you so easy to be around. I am *very* glad we found each
other when we did - My senior year has been fantastic because of you!
Thank you ever so much for caring...It means a lot to me, as do you.

As it looks now, I'll still be here in Lakewood next fall, but that's no
reason for us to lose what we have. I will always be around, so please
remember that when you need someone to talk to, OK? Again, thank you
for everything, and may all your years be as good for you as you have
made this one for me.

Love always,
Anne

-- Anne in my senior high school yearbook, moved from in front of my
bookcase to the 2nd bedroom today

Flat Rat

The first couple of years of college I was a chemical engineering major
-- this was before I changed to a math degree because it was the
quickest way for me to get the hell out of school.

I took a ton of chemistry classes, and aside from the pre-med penises I
was attending with, I really enjoyed them. The labs especially because
the chemicals were big-time dangerous and I'd intentionally misuse them
all the time.

I figured out a shortcut from the chemistry building that involved going
out through the loading docks, saving me about 5 minutes of walking time
when hauling across campus for my next course.

One day on my hop I noticed that a rat had been run over on the dock.
It'd happened fairly long ago, because the critter was perfectly flat
and paper thin. In fact, it had been there for *so* long that its body
actually followed the exact contour of the rocks of the asphalt
underneath.

One of the things that made it cool was the tail smashed out
disproportionately wide -- making it look mildly beaver like. It even
had personality in that it had a strip of white hair running up its
right side -- giving it a mildly punky look (apropos since both Wendy O.
Williams and Nancy Spungen went to school there).

I called the creature Flat Rat and would make it a point to show it to
all my friends. It quickly became famous -- my roommate Tom (RIP), in
particular, was taken by it.

Flat Rat was in situ for a couple years -- through snow storms, rains
and street cleanings. Never really looking worse the wear, although
every now and then it'd peel up just a bit on the edge around its mouth,
giving it a bit of that "gonna fly now" look.

I changed my major and the chem building was no longer one of my
haunts. One day I was on the far side of campus and on the way back
made a detour through the chem. loading docks to visit Flat Rat.

It was gone! I immediately called my pal Tom and lamented the fact.

A couple weeks later, I rode my bike on a street I'd never been on
before. This was about 2.5 miles due east of the chem. loading docks on
campus.

And there, on the street, was Flat Rat. Not any flat rat, THE flat
rat.

I called Tom.

In a mild state of shock, crossed with jubilation, we got sandwiches and
sat of the curb staring at it. There was no question it was Flat Rat,
although it had lost its right front leg somewhere in the transition
between Point A and Point B.

But it was nice to once again be basking in the full-on experience that
was Flat Rat.

Day VII

It was the kind of day where, after talking on the phone for more than 3
hours, I walked to my favorite local fish restaurant, only to have to
walk back through the first rain of the season.

I didn't get as far along as I'd have liked (I won't tomorrow either
because I'm going to a writers' conference in the city), but I did make
it through the rat hot spot. This is what I saw ...

There've been rat(s) there, for sure ... there was a chewed up bag of
jelly beans, a bar of mocha chocolate completely gone, and get this,
half a bar of soap eaten. A very few rat droppings and nothing else.
Defintely not a nest or nest-like, more like a drive-in on a road trip.

I set a snap trap in my fake fireplace, but I should have just built a
small Sputnik monument instead ... It would catch as many rats and have
a deeper meaning.

I've killed (and eaten) several animals in my lifetime and tracked many
many more ... and I always use the same trick: think like them. It
works *really* well. Okay, so I'm up against a critter that likes
chocolate, chews up plastic, and eats half a bar of soap before it
decides "that's a bad idea" (or possibly, "i'm bored now"). How can I
think like that? I don't even understand it.

Bo3b suggested that perhaps I'm not up against rats, but rather, space
aliens in rat form. It would explain:

* Testing different things to see what they are.

* Why they appear to be nowhere after visiting.

* The small probe that I fished out of my anus this morning.

The prime rule of a skeptic is extraordinary claims require
extraordinary proof†. Eating half a bar of soap all but qualifies in
my book. I think I'm up against space aliens.

Today I started playing Tetris in a big way. I'm moving boxes and
things, many of which will have to be moved 2 more times. I also
discovered, for the first time in my life, that I have the tiniest
amount of arthritis in my hips.

Music for the day:

Talk Talk
"Natural History"
(I liked it yesterday and didn't feel like playing Twister to change the
disc.)

"Chicago Blues Guitar Killers"
Japanese import collection

"Green Crystal Ties"
Psychedelic collection - Volume 4

My CD player started skipping so I turned it off. May get a new one
later today.

Ratometer:

Distance ridden on arms/legs exercise bike: 17mi/27km

Expiration date of Gatorade bottle I drank after riding: November 2004

Amount of time bottle had been opened and unrefrigerated, although label
said, "Refrigerate after opening:" 20 hours

# of hand signed first edition books unwrapped for the first time: 17

Most valuable of these: Hard to say, there are 2 Philip Roth's there and
he's a Pultizer winner, but due to pop culture demand I'll bet it's Anne
Rice's "Vittorio the Vampire"

# of BBC Music Magazines unearthed, still in their mailers: 22

Number of glue traps stepped in today: 1

Number of swear words uttered after doing so: 0

Best find of the day: Signed copy of "If Chins Could Kill," by Bruce
Campbell -- star of the "Evil Dead" films.

Rat count: nil

More mail tomorrow. Should finish first pass of the living room.
Things are looking better up front, worse further back in the place as I
play Tetris.

†This is, in fact, the primary problem I have with a vast number of
religions, they support what they believe by the information they
themselves provide. Uh, no.

Side Note to Mikkel

Sir,

I understand things are heating up -- unfortunately I won't have
"leisurely" access to a true computer for several days ... on my hiptop
I'm stuck, essentially, to posting small blurbs here -- it's impossible
for me to reply elsewhere (text verification doesn't work) ... when I'm
up and running, I'll post back against your site, not here.

My apologies for not being more timely, let's just say that the world
outside rat killing is not, going "well."

Regards,
b1

Post Script: I've read your blog and know you've demured the offer.

My Rat Prediction

I'm starting to think I may not find one. It may only be wishful
thinking, but I'm sure seein' a whole lot of nothin' so far.