Flat Rat

The first couple of years of college I was a chemical engineering major
-- this was before I changed to a math degree because it was the
quickest way for me to get the hell out of school.

I took a ton of chemistry classes, and aside from the pre-med penises I
was attending with, I really enjoyed them. The labs especially because
the chemicals were big-time dangerous and I'd intentionally misuse them
all the time.

I figured out a shortcut from the chemistry building that involved going
out through the loading docks, saving me about 5 minutes of walking time
when hauling across campus for my next course.

One day on my hop I noticed that a rat had been run over on the dock.
It'd happened fairly long ago, because the critter was perfectly flat
and paper thin. In fact, it had been there for *so* long that its body
actually followed the exact contour of the rocks of the asphalt
underneath.

One of the things that made it cool was the tail smashed out
disproportionately wide -- making it look mildly beaver like. It even
had personality in that it had a strip of white hair running up its
right side -- giving it a mildly punky look (apropos since both Wendy O.
Williams and Nancy Spungen went to school there).

I called the creature Flat Rat and would make it a point to show it to
all my friends. It quickly became famous -- my roommate Tom (RIP), in
particular, was taken by it.

Flat Rat was in situ for a couple years -- through snow storms, rains
and street cleanings. Never really looking worse the wear, although
every now and then it'd peel up just a bit on the edge around its mouth,
giving it a bit of that "gonna fly now" look.

I changed my major and the chem building was no longer one of my
haunts. One day I was on the far side of campus and on the way back
made a detour through the chem. loading docks to visit Flat Rat.

It was gone! I immediately called my pal Tom and lamented the fact.

A couple weeks later, I rode my bike on a street I'd never been on
before. This was about 2.5 miles due east of the chem. loading docks on
campus.

And there, on the street, was Flat Rat. Not any flat rat, THE flat
rat.

I called Tom.

In a mild state of shock, crossed with jubilation, we got sandwiches and
sat of the curb staring at it. There was no question it was Flat Rat,
although it had lost its right front leg somewhere in the transition
between Point A and Point B.

But it was nice to once again be basking in the full-on experience that
was Flat Rat.