May 25, 2018

You've had problems in your life...

... but never THIS bad.

https://youtu.be/8AuosmHtpqU

May 24, 2018

Fish are actually humans quote of the moment

In fact, scientists at the University of Utah recently discovered that, if given the opportunity, zebrafish will willingly dose themselves with opioids.

--CHRISTINA CAPATIDES

Headline of the moment

Mussels off the coast of Seattle test positive for opioids


May 23, 2018

Good thinking quote of the moment

The State Department said in its Wednesday statement that anyone who experienced "unusual acute auditory or sensory phenomena" while in China should move away from the source of the noise.

--cnn.com article

Hawfoxbit headline of the moment

Eagle snatches fox holding rabbit in mouth in dramatic images



(Notice this isn't "rabbitnews.com")

Headline of the moment

FBI Admits It Inflated Number of Supposedly Unhackable Devices


Quote of the moment

"In one case, a flatworm sent into space grew a second head after its tail was cut off. And in another study, researchers tweaked worms' regeneration so that after the animals' heads were amputated, they regrew heads and brains resembling those of different species."

--Mindy Weisberger

Headline of the moment

Giant Hammerhead Worms Have Been Invading France for Decades


Aren't you missing an exclamation point? headline of the moment

Man defending Hawaii home from volcano is hit by flaming lava bomb


Headline of the moment

Judge rules 30-year-old man must move out of parents' home


--CNYcentral.com

May 21, 2018

Quote of the moment

Long life is not at all God's gift for me – but a punishment.

-- Koku Istambulova

May 20, 2018

That's not what I call it headline of the moment

Hawaii volcano poses a new threat: Acid from Kilauea's lava, called 'laze,' pouring into the ocean


Quote of the moment

Doctors are trained to think "horse" when they hear the sound of hooves, not "zebra."

--Catherine Foley

Latin of the moment (a first!)

tu stultus es -- you are stupid

Quote of the moment

To prevent a shark attack, the university research center recommends not swimming at dawn, dusk or night; not swimming where people are fishing, where fish are schooling or where seabirds are feeding; and not wearing shiny jewelry in the water.

--Elaine Glusac

May 19, 2018

Headline of the moment

CDC: Stop Going Into Hotel Pools And Hot Tubs With Diarrhea


May 18, 2018

Quote of the moment

Ironically, it was the drug war itself that pushed the cartels into the heroin business.

--Jonathan Reiss

Quote of the moment

Prescribed drugs can be just as dangerous as illegal drugs.

--faceless TV commercial on a LV TV station

Headline of the moment

No, Octopuses Don't Come From Outer Space


May 17, 2018

Headline of the moment

Malaysia Seizes Najib's 'Rather Big' Trove of Jewels and Handbags


Headline of the moment

Could reviving Woolly-Mammoth genes fight the effects of global warming?


May 15, 2018

Quote of the moment

Anyone who does synthetic biology should be under surveillance, and anyone who does it without a license should be suspect.

--George Church

Quote of the moment

More than undermining the integrity of the competition, which it's sure to do by innuendo if not indictment, gambling's also a scourge that destroys marriages, homes, careers and reputations.

--Joe Fitzgerald

Quote of the moment

"Make sure nothing irreversible ever happens!"

-Lazy Pig Girl

May 13, 2018

Oh God please tell me "no," I can't control a planet! headline of the moment

Earth's trajectory altered by the massive gravity of Jupiter and Venus; Is there need to worry?


Not EXACTLY what you mean headline of the moment

Hurricane center watching system bringing heavy rain to South Florida

May 11, 2018

Asimov headline of the moment (with bonus formatting discussion!)

What do we even mean when we say 'Android'?



(Now, what's weird here is Strunk and White will tell you that the ? should fall INSIDE the half quote, ala 'android?' while the Brits place it outside.  So this headline is non-standard.  Unfortunately, the biggest casualty of modern computing publishing is the publishing editor, so who the hell knows if this is right?)

Quote of the moment

There are mademoiselle-era cans of food in my pantry.

--Pamela Druckerman

Is this a trick question headline of the moment

CAN POKER GROW BEYOND A FAD BY EMBRACING THE ESPORTS FAD?


May 10, 2018

Cow-sized fridge headline of the moment

Hawaii volcano's next eruption could spew lethal gas and boulders big as fridges


Fair and balanced headline of the moment

Tourists warned not to feed kangaroos McDonald's, fast food after series of brutal attacks


Headline of the moment

Cancer survivor cheats death once again after crashing into kangaroo


Headline of the moment

When an automaker declares 'Airbag Recall Month,' you know the problem is serious


Headline of the moment

Eruption could hurl rocks 'the size of cows' from summit crater, scientists warn


Armed forces headline of the moment

Army Doctors Grew A New Ear Transplant Inside A Soldier's Forearm

Apple and strawberry

Lakewood, CO

May 09, 2018

8 year old dream headline of the moment

This Is What It Looks Like When a Truck Hauling 12 Tons of Chocolate Flips Over on a Highway


May 08, 2018

Quote of the moment

In the weeks after his capture, an Intelligence Committee report said, Mr. Khalid Shaikh Mohammed was subjected to the suffocation technique called waterboarding 183 times over 15 sessions, stripped naked, doused with water, slapped, slammed into a wall, given rectal rehydrations without medical need, shackled into painful stress positions and sleep-deprived for about a week by being forced to stand with his hands chained above his head.

--Charlie Savage (in the NYT)

It's a beautiful morning headline of the moment

Volcanic activity pauses at 12 fissures in Leilani subdivision but noxious fumes continue


--Honolulu Star Advertiser

The "as hard as it sounds" quote of the moment

Taking care of other human beings is a complex, intricate, intimate privilege.

--Adrienne Boissy

May 06, 2018

So THAT'S the reason headline of the moment

Aliens Are Trapped On Their Own Planets, That's Why They Haven't Come To Visit Us, Say European Astronomers


May 04, 2018

Headline of the moment

Man dies after attempting to take selfie with bear


Headline of the moment

Lenovo Mirage and Yi Horizon cameras are your gateway drug into VR180


Headline of the moment

Earth's carbon dioxide levels continue to soar, at highest point in 800,000 years


Headline of the moment

Flaming Kites From Gaza Thwarted by Unfavorable Israeli Winds


Quotes of the moment

[My husband] looked into my ear and confirmed that there was a roach trying to burrow its way to my brain. 

...

I need therapy for a lot of reasons, but this experience blows all of those other reasons out of the water.

--Katie Holley

May 03, 2018

Headline of the moment

LG's G7 is boring because all Android phones are boring now—and it's Apple's fault


Quote of the moment

It's a pity analysts weren't brave enough to respond to Musk's attacks, and defend the part that they play. Most are self-aware enough to realize that they're not billionaire entrepreneurs who want to revolutionize transportation and fly to Mars.

--Chris Bryant

May 01, 2018

Headline of the moment

Conspiracy theorist: You can't fall off flat Earth edge due to 'Pac-Man effect'


Quote of the moment

Last year, doctors in Berlin made an unprecedented announcement: They declared an HIV patient who had undergone an HIV-resistant bone marrow transplant to be cured of his disease. Now, doctors in Texas are hoping to build on that success story by screening stored umbilical cord blood for HIV-resistant stem cells that could be transplanted into patients.

--Stephanie Pappas