haiku of the moment

if days were longer
something like 30 hours
i'd want 35

haiku of the moment

one disappointment
of punishingly hard rain
is the fact it stops

haiku of the moment

tv is finished
my head is bound for pillow
i've hit the off switch

turn your eyes to 24hotv

nothing more will happen here until the end of 24hotv (http://www.24HoursOfTV.com). please turn your attention there. thanks.

quote of the moment

"i like dogs and i vote."

-- bumper sticker, santa clara

haiku of the moment

press me once to stroll
20 times if you're a kid
walk signal button

marks from pollen collected on a crate -- mountain view

haiku of the moment

you have a belief
that you've held your entire life
turns out it's not true

haiku of the moment

let's create a world
where things are a bit better
now let's do it here

haiku of the moment

you have a future
where you live a final day
does that affect now?

haiku of the moment

say, let's play a game:
you go far away and hide
get it?

haiku of the moment

wear a fuzzy coat
get taunted by my brother
i'm not fozzie bear

haiku of the moment

look, there's burger king
spounge bob square pants sits on top
just kill me now, please

haiku of the moment

longer than wide
closer to black than white
strength in number

haiku of the moment

warped reflection
warmth only when heated
indifference

haiku of the moment

dr. pepper choice
diet cherry vanilla
bite me. where's my dew

haiku of the moment

spring is being held
biting cold night with low clouds
snow on mountain tops

24 Hours of TV Press Release

24 Hours of TV – Don’t Just Watch TV, Live It

Beginning at noon, Pacific Time, next Saturday, February 25, 2006, celebrated author and Internet specialist Scott “Special K” Knaster, along with his wise-cracking-yet-amiable sidekick b1-66er, will spend 24 hours straight in front of a television set in suburban Campbell, California. The event will be covered on the Internet as it occurs, both on a Web site dedicated to the purpose (www.24hoursoftv.blogspot.com) and in a dedicated AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) chat room. The public is encouraged to check in on the progress of the event, or even participate


Watch or Join In?

The entire 24HTV event will be covered before, during and after the actual viewing on the blog: 24HoursOfTV.BlogSpot.com. Both Mr. Knaster and b1-66er will be providing extensive commentary on the Web site along with color commentary in a dedicated AIM chat room. Further, anyone stepping forward to commit the same 24 hour period of time for TV viewing will be granted author privileges as a true participant. “I just want it to be fun,” Mr. Knaster says. Interested parties should seek the 24HTV site for more details.


A Stupid Idea Creates the Rule of Motion

Mr. Knaster explains the background of the project: “I’m offered hundreds of program choices on TV. When I look at the listings I'm intrigued by the potential for strangeness, badness, and camp, but I never make the time to actually watch. I had an idea: plant myself in front of the TV and switch channels randomly. I want it to be strange, so I’ll change them frequently.” He pauses then adds, “It’s a really stupid idea.”

As with a shark’s inherent need to swim to live, 24 Hours of TV (24HTV) is guided by the general Rule of Motion. Every 15 minutes, a channel on DirecTV will be randomly chosen and the channel will be changed – regardless of what is being watched at the time and irrespective of the channel being changed to (as long as there is a coherent signal).


General Mills Balks at the “Official Food of 24HTV” – Food Sponsorship Welcomed

In a 24 hour time period, Mr. Knaster and b1-66er are certain to get hungry. Clearly Totino’s Pizza Rolls should be the Official Food of 24HTV and yet repeated efforts to contact General Mills for product sponsorship during the event have gone unanswered. B1-66er explains, “I went to the General Mills Web site, but their email communication ‘feature’ didn’t work. So I sent a FAX explaining what was happening. Two days go by, no answer. So I call their customer line and get pushed to a marketing rep only to find she was on vacation. I call her stand in and what do I get? No response.” B1-66er gets teary-eyed, adding, “Jeepers, you’d think they’d be proud to sponsor us. It’s tough when you think you’re covertly hated by such a fine company as General Mills. I’m losing sleep over it -- just not my R.E.M. sleep, thank goodness.”

A spokesperson for Polterzeitgeist Productions puts it this way, “Knaster and the ‘Sixer’ are good men. Like all good men, they need to be fed, not mistreated like alley-way curs. Pizza rolls aren’t the only answer to this problem. I’m confident that a creative and understanding food corporation will step through and help the lads.” Definitely an opportunity worth considering given that Mr. Knaster’s personal Web site has a higher Google PageRank than even that of General Mills.


Why 24HTV?

B1-66er says, “I like doing interesting and unusual things. 24HTV is a weird idea and I can think of no one I’d rather do it with than Special K.” Mr. Knaster takes a different view, “I just want to write about 24 Hours of Television as my mind drips away.”

quote of the moment

"they tasted like boa constructor having eaten a pygmy in the jungle ... but i mean that in a good way."

-- b1-66er, describing the taste of a specific african chocolate to the birdhead

haiku of the moment

if all seems too bland
find the most normal of sides
strip off the veneer

Strange Web Searches ...

... that have resulted in hitting this Web site.

I've missed listing some good ones in the past, but I wanted to start keeping these for posterity. In all cases, the entire text (in order) on any given line has resulted in not only a search engine hit, but people actually clicking through to get here. How truly disappointed they must be.

world sexy (4/3/06)
evaporated car (3/31/06)
papa's gotta brand new bag - what does it mean? (2/15/06)
punch drunk fall green stripe slip on vegan shoes (2/14/06)
boob vagen is


This list will end up being special enough that I'll keep re-dating it and bringing it back to the top as I get more weirdness.

{As an aside, by far my most popular posting is the world's best macaroni and cheese recipe. Several people, including my brother (the world's best mechanical engineer) find my site by doing a Web search for hookie bobbing.}

haiku of the moment

make a mental trench
fill it with the angst you hold
turn and walk away

haiku of the moment

3000 cd's
adorn the face of big ben
rock around the clock

quote of the moment

"technically, he's under arrest, but he's at the hospital."
-- neville gittens, sfpd, speaking about a hit-and-run suspect

haiku of the moment

imagine time's end
the point where nothing exists
now take a look back

24 Hours of TV -- the Deal is Set

These are the stipulations for 24 hours of TV under agreement with Special K.

1. 24 Hours of TV (24HTV) runs from noon 25 February 2006 to noon 26 February 2006, Pacific Standard Time. We must be in the room with the TV for at least 55 minutes of every hour.

2. We will change the channel every 15 minutes, on the quarter hour. This is designed to enhance weirdness and to prevent viewing complete programs.

3. To determine the new channel, we'll use any means to select a new channel number. Acceptable means include 10-sided dice, playing cards, software, and currency serial numbers. For example, because we'll be watching DirecTV (3-digit channel numbers), we'll pick three playing cards. We'll broadcast our channel changes, along with other chatter, in AIM chatroom TV24HR; you can follow our changes, or pick your own.

4. If the newly selected channel is not actually broadcasting, we'll draw randomly for channels twice looking for an active channel. If we draw blanks two times in a row, we'll round up to the next active channel.

5. A key principle of 24HTV is that we never get to choose what we're watching. If we don't like a show, we're stuck with it for 15 minutes. If we like what we're watching, you have to leave it behind anyway. And no fair using technology to help: no DVR features (pause/rewind), no DVDs, no Internet, no videogames, no VCRs.

6. B1-66er will be allowed "special means" to watch short track speed skating if it's on during the broadcast. The special means have not yet been determined.

7. The official food of 24HTV is Totino's Pizza Rolls.


I will be updating this site extensively during that time. Be warned.

haiku of the moment

early morning's mist
ominous figures hover
landing sandhill cranes

trivium of the moment

you're only allowed to get the number 69 on a custom license plate in CA if the car you're registering it for is a 1969 model.

haiku of the moment

as for fireworks
there's one phrase you should strive for:
"sky saturation"

haiku of the moment

imagine a bath
now imagine it writ large
duck in swimming pool

all choka'd up

okay folks,

the birdhead and i have created a new poetry site that you can (and should) play with. it's based on a form of japanese poetry (there's a surprise), called "choka."

just like what i write here isn't really haiku, the stuff over there isn't really choka either, but only the anal retentive will stroke out over it -- for everyone else we're hoping it'll just be fun (and hey, you get to write). head over to choka on it for more details.

while you're there, feel free to click on a few ads. we get paid some infinitesimal amount for everyone who does. we're trying to earn enough to get a free pizza before the end of the year.

pax,
b1

haiku of the moment

consider ill will
the way it flows through the world
how much do you cause?

haiku of the moment

not so much a throb
as it is a form of roar
headache go away

unidentified leaf -- mountain view

pic for mikkel

american forest fire campaign poster from the 40's
(blogger won't let me drop this image in
as a comment, so i'm putting it here)

haiku of the moment

a flat bit of sand
dim impressions can be traced
possibilities

haiku of the moment

taste the dust
canyon's maw hides in darkness
death nearby

no, *i* am the world's best mechanical engineer

you may recall my efforts to make my brother the world's best mechanical engineer. (he is, btw, the world's best mechanical engineer.)

well, the experiment is going grand. according to google, he's now #3 in the world. think about it, all the mechanical engineers in the world and he's #3 for world's best. that's pretty heavy.

who's #1? through some coding tweak, i now am.

so why fight it? i'm open for business. you have any mechanical engineering stuff you need done? i'm your guy. send it along. my rates are US$100/hr and up. and don't worry, if i get too busy, i'll just farm it out to someone i'm certain you can trust.

naked lunch

i had an email exchange with my brother when he asked about naked lunch, a book that i'd mentioned i was reading for the first time. i wanted to massage the missive a little and catch a piece of it here.

***

naked lunch is essentially modern reading 101.

it's by william s. burroughs. he was considered one of the beats (along with kerouac and ginsberg) although he's considerably older than they are. raging and openly homosexual (in the 1950's, no less), and a heroin addict for *15* years (he intentionally got hooked to see what it was like).

he reads like a multi-syllabic, quasi-sci fi, hunter thompson. darker. mustier. less booze and more heroin.

"naked lunch" is considered by many to be one of the top "modern" (for lack of a better phrase), novels of the latter 20th century. all the cyberpunks, lou reed, david bowie, u2, etc. etc. think of him as an inspiration.

cronenberg did a film of naked lunch. i saw it, but don't remember much -- i remember liking it and that there was a typewriter that turned into an anus that the main character would rub cocaine on. yes, you read that right.

he wrote the majority of it in tangiers over the course of 3 years. he'd write a page and throw it on the floor. write a page and throw it on the floor. it took kerouac and ginsberg to pull it together. upon turning the first manuscript over to his publisher, it was rejected because "it was chewed on. it looked like rats were eating it or something."

when the book was compiled, in semi-haste, there was stuff missing and other things that were duplicated. if there's ever been a work of literature that proved the final product isn't really that important, it was this thing. like a john cage symphony, it's more of a concept that you "understand," than a performance you actually sit and listen to (or in this case, read).

the book was published by an off-beat press that printed edgy stuff, weird philosophy and pornography. the state of MA tried to have it banned as pornography, and lost, essentially putting an end to states banning books in the u.s.

i never fully realized this until i started reading it, but the beats were the prime influencers on the hippies ... i mean, i understood it on an intellectual level, but i never really got steeped in the theory ... it was like they'd written all this stuff and it took a couple of years to sink in.

the difference was that the beats were just sort of intellectually out there; anti-authoritarian and definitely populist, but not openly civil disobedient ... not in the same let's-shut-down-civil-activities sense that the hippies were.

i'm having trouble putting this timeline and historical events into my head, but i think you can pin american/world drug use and the problems related to it on the beats. i'd always sat that on the doorstep of the hippies, but it's starting to feel to me like something they just learned/were told to do by the beats.

the book is remarkably disturbing. i'm not sure i should be reading it. i think maybe it should be rated 14-17. you can't read it older or younger. it's the right age to have your cognitive set of wheels (mostly) under you, but not be aware of how truly warped the world is (and how close this stuff comes to reality). if you were younger than that and it would be too scary/boring. older than that and while sleep walking you'll be urged to do any number of unspeakable acts.

or maybe you wouldn't have to be asleep.

haiku of the moment

absolute quiet
produces a deeper chill
than the coldest nights

unknown weed wild flower -- los gatos

gazania -- los gatos

(commonly used as a median plant in northern CA)

magnolia seeds -- los gatos

haiku of the moment

starting off at green
then bringing in bright colors
a first glimpse of spring

conversation with special k -- preamble to "24 hours of t.v."

just had an i.m. conversation with special k about an event that's his idea, but i'm going to participate in: watching 24 hours of television straight. i put the conversation down here for a few reasons:

one, it's a good example of the way my conversations in general tend to run off the rails. i just don't have enough of that on this site. too much b1, not enough of my barely-in-touch-with-reality pals.

two, pulled out of context, it looks hideous -- mostly because things that appear to be abbreviations for known elements actually mean something else. i like that.

three, i like the concept of voyeurism, particularly when it comes to conversations that you shouldn't be privy to.

four, an experiment that i won't further elucidate except to say that special k works for the big G.

***

b1: special k.

special k: here

b1: okay 24 hours of t.v. you said some stuff about promoting it on blogs, but my mind wasn't there, i was focused elsewhere while you were talking ...
b1: what's the blog tie-in?

special k: I'm thinking that we could debate the rules on our blogs.

b1: okay. it may make more sense to have the "debate" be in one spot, rather than across sites ... like either on yours or mine ... it may or may not make more sense to have postings of the actual event be on the same site as well.
b1: the problem with talking about it across sites (the set-up) is that you have trouble following chronology as a reader.

special k: yeah, maybe just duplicate the discussion in both places

b1: i don't have to have it on mine, i'm more than willing to just do it on yours.
b1: you can post and i can come in as a comment underneath in what we do.

special k: that will probably work. then I can summarize the discussion in more posts, and you can link to it.

b1: right. as you probably already know, my site isn't so much about "what i'm doing today" nor really my current thoughts and actions ... so it's not like i'm missing any gaps ... i'll probably take the actual activity -- my responses to and through the 24hr period on my site (and link to yours too, of course).

special k: OK

b1: ding me whenever you make your first post -- i tend to look at your site only on about a weekly basis and won't pick up the discussion quickly enough, otherwise.

special k: oh, I'm sure I'll talk to you or email you before I post.
special k: Looking at my calendar, I'm thinking maybe the weekend of 18/19 or 25/26.
special k: do those work for you?

b1: 25/26

special k: That would be an interesting time slot. Tail end of the Winter Olympics, before Spring Training really starts.
special k: The world will be hungry for frivolous media.

b1: and you're more-than-willing to oblige.

special k: Right on.

b1: there's something vaguely sick about you. there always has been.

special k: That's what gives me my spice.
special k: Hmm. Should I register 24hoursofTV.com? Hmm. Hmm.

b1: do you have a plan to somehow make this "bigger?"

special k: not really. I just want it to be fun.

b1: and registering 24hoursoftv.com makes it more "fun."

special k: exactly!

b1: okay.

special k: or I could KKK it: I can get 24hoursofTV.typepad.com for free. ;-)

b1: THAT is more fun.
b1: if you had a say, how would you want me to describe you, just in general?
"special k is that vaguely sick jew?"

special k: you have to throw in "nice" somewhere, then you're golden.

b1: okay. "special k is that nice, vaguely sick jew."

special k: Perfect!

b1: i should just post this i.m. conversation to my blog and see how long it takes your employer to shut me down for a hate crime.

special k: Good social experiment.

b1: you're full of ideas. good to see that your education wasn't wasted on you ... at least through the 5th grade.

special k: hah, I learned nothing in school.

b1: you can spell.
b1: you can write.
b1: you have more books to your name than i do.
b1: (and i don't have zero)

special k: Instinct.
special k: hey, I'm gonna go grab lunch.
special k: I'll be back in 10 or less, if you want to continue.

b1: okay.

special k: brb

b1: wait, you just had an a.p.

special k: I'm just grabbing some food before it's gone.

b1: you're such a thinker.

special k: plus that was like 3 hours ago

b1: even though you shouldn't eat for about five days.

special k: true

b1: i'm putting this conversation on my site.

special k: (reading it over now)
special k: seems boring to me

b1: people will think it's funny.
b1: you're too close to it.
b1: they'll think the non-boring parts are funny.
b1: this conversation is like king kong. it takes awhile to get going, but once it does, it's pretty good.
b1: and we don't have jack black. which makes this conversation about 10x as good as kk.

special k: and no less musical

haiku of the moment

up at 4:00
every single damn morning
truly tired of this

pic of the moment

the printed press in america has a heavy bias of choosing extremely unflattering pictures of conservative politicians for publication, but much better ones of liberals. it's always interesting, if not shocking, when you see the tables turned.



Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) greets people as she arrives for U.S. President George W. Bush's the State of the Union address at the U.S. Capitol in Washington January 31, 2006. REUTERS/Jason Reed