Armed and Dangerous

I rode my exercise bicycle today for the first time in a couple of
years† and it put me in a part of my bedroom that I don't frequent.
While there I noticed some rat "signs" (a very few droppings and
something shredded that was green plastic) on top of a sweater on the
floor.

Now ...

That sweater has been in that general area for less than 2 years, which
in my geologic timeframe would definitely qualify as "recent," and that
exact spot for probably less than 2 months (I seem to remember moving
stuff there when I went fishing last Memorial day).

The droppings are still black, not grey (they change color over time) so
this is significant: not only are these the first true signs of a rat,
it's new. ASSUMING, OF COURSE YOU DON'T COUNT ACTUALLY SEE ONE DO THE
DANCE OF THE SUGARPLUM FAIRIES ON THE END OF MY BED -- *WITH* *ME* *IN*
*IT* -- LESS THAN A WEEK AGO.

So I've upped the DefCon level one notch, and for the first time in
history, I have a live, baited rat snap trap in my place. I've put it
on an IRS envelope (of course -- likes attract likes) on top of the
existing stratum -- after "scenting" the envelope a bit first.

If that sucker goes off, it'll sound like an inner-city kid with his
first 38-special. I hope and pray that when it does I'm both in bed and
that there's a small spray of rat juice into the air. And you better
believe I'll take a big snort of victory.

As an aside, if betting line arise from this, and you can get anything
better than 2-to-1 that I'll actually trap myself by accident, that's a
good bet and you should take it.

***

†I quit exercising a couple of years ago, not out of laziness, but I
was seeing side-effects in the vision of my left eye -- when I'd hit an
aerobic level, my vision would noticeably darken. I quit because I
didn't want to antagonize the condition. Now I simply don't care.

(And to think, I said this would never be a blog about "things I did
today." It's no wonder I have rats.)