poetry of the moment

someone offered to give their pair of nine inch nails tickets to the person on craigslist who sent them the best email. this didn't win, but i wanted to keep it as part of the vast b1-66er archive.

***

to be the best email
is very very rough

because sure i'd like to see the nails
(oh so very very tough)

and those queens of the stone age
with all their super-heroes

but the question on the page
is how to beat the other zeroes?

i guess i could say i had "enthusiasm"
because sure, it's one of my tricks

but within the general protoplasm
it's not clear that beats the other pricks

i could pick 'em up at your house
and give you a smile and a "thanks"

and if you say "no," i won't be a louse
nor fire up my army of tanks

your offer is super generous
of that i'm absolutely sure

i certainly don't want to be onerous
nor give you a whiff of manure

but industrial music
hits a place that nowhere else can

when the atmosphere gets mesic
and you starting looking for a fan

i could say i'm a head-banger
although that's not really true

i mean it's not like i'm a clothes hanger
just because i like mountain dew

but i am a little strapped for cash
in these times, who isn't?

and it's not like the way i'm going to thrash
is by selling my jizz-int

so consider these couplets
i assure you it's no ruse

i just want to clot your platelets
in a lame form of dr. seuss