(somewhat screaming) Quote of the moment

(please excuse the formatting. The Vice article is jacking with my style sheets and I don't feel like correcting it.)

If you reach into a bag of Cheetos and pull out a snack that looks like a penis with a pair of testicles dangling from its base, you have about three options: you can pop in into your mouth and crunch it without comment; you can hold it up and announce "This one looks like a dick" before eating it; or you can put it aside and eventually list it on eBay with a title like "Cheeto Shaped Penis Balls Perfect Humor Oddity" or "Cheeto Shaped Like a Penis ULTRA RARE" or even "Cheetos Puffs Shaped Penis Can't Get Any BETTER Than This Wow My 8 yr old Found." 

--Jelisa castrodale