June 20, 2006

haiku of the moment

as a kid you think
"things will make sense when i grow"
WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG

posted by b1-66er at 01:14

2 Comments:

Blogger b1-66er said...

hi.

i'm not a big fan of analyzing my own poetry -- let it mean whatever to whomever reads it -- but i'll make an exception here for the reason that men always make stupid exceptions to women: because you're cute.

yes, really. dead true and accurate. the world just seemed really complex and confusing as a kid and i thought, "hey, i'll learn a lot and then some things will just become clear over time." maybe you even get handed a magic key of knowledge that no one talks about, like being a mason or something. in fact, it was one of the biggest reasons i bothered to learn anything at all.

like my dad seemed like he had it figured out and he was really smart. this was, of course, before he decided to use a vacuum cleaner for a more unusual form of housekeeping.

then it turns out it's all a big lie. in fact, i had it WAY more together at 18 than i do now.

yesterday was a bastard. really bad. just one freak one-off after another. and i was fuming over it all (this was after a good conversation with the lithuanians, but before a sending a smoker off to a colleague about having a guy show up for work who i: 1. didn't know was starting & 2. had never met).

i like the poem for a couple reasons ...

ONE IS IT'S FRICKEN TRUE.

and the other is precisely what you caught (of course you would) which is it falls into the repetitive nature of the word, a harkening back to the way that kids think and an unexpected ending to a poem.

nice aha moment, but STILL a few steps behind:

"and looking back, dies."

(written when i was a kid and believed that i'd have things all figured out as an adult. OH THE IRONY. OH THE SARDONICISM.)

and i think it's pretty funny.

funny in the same way that when i was working in england our offices had a open lattice staircase and a smokin' hot secretary was walking underneath in a low cut dress as i was carrying a glass of water upstairs ... and unlike most guys who would be trying to glare as much nipple as they could, i thought "whoa. it'd be really bad to spill this water. this is kinda weird, actually. they wouldn't have something like this in the states."

and then i tripped.

anyway, lawley-san likes it. he's a man of high morals and low expectations when dealing with creatures like me. so it must be all good.

and yes, i signed up yesterday. at a slow point in the middle of the hell firestorm -- but i couldn't find your fricken comment and delete it ... i get notificiation of all comments (even this one), but it doesn't say WHERE they are. thereby, increasing my angst.

berkeley friday. radiohead. the only band that matters. greek theatre. that's high enough that i can probably hit your house with ice if throw hard enough. which i will.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006 3:19:00 PM  
Blogger b1-66er said...

you're welcome,

today much better than yesterday, but then again, look what it was up against.

***
i love knowing i make you do things you don't "normally" do... mainly cos i imagine its for another reason aside from my cuteness.
***

maybe. or maybe it's just because you're like all the other women i've been talking to this week who are essentially trying to puppet string me along. "do this." "don't do that." "do this now."


***
once i hit 20 that's all down the drain anywho. (that one's for the gossip pool.)
***

yeah, but that's still 4 years off and i only have to dodge the cops for 2.


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i enjoy thinking about you as a kid. boggles the mind in a way.
***

there are almost no photos of the b1-6xer series taken as kids. but there's this one that would make you die. just. make. you. die. it's my brother and i, in wyoming, in western garb, and we're, maybe 3 and 6. something like that. and my hair is the color of a new penny. bright orange. and i've got this sort of bad ass expression on my face and my brother looks very kind and affable. if you saw me like that, you would want to clutch me to your breast. i guarantee it.

i *think* that pic is back at my mom's place.


***
im currently debating on whether or not, by fall-ish, i can pull off a pair of thigh high, red lace, thin wool stockings... i dont know if its me, and for the work required i would *have* to wear them w/ a skirt, etc. need a new garter, too.
***

i'm not sure what you're saying here -- you MAKE 'em by then? i have no idea. you wearing 'em, sure, but you need to tone up those legs a tad if you're as portly as you always try to make yourself sound.


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im glad youll amke it. :)
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me too.


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i graduated in the greek theatre!! i was the one in 20 billion leis whose name the announcer (a professor of mine actually, but not as if that means anything with 100+ kids in a class) totally botched... you were supposed to hand him a card with your name phonetically spelled-- i think he just about died there on his feet seeing an orchid strewn ox handing him a card written in another language for him to read out loud for all to hear.

the best time during that 4+ hr ceremony in the heat, under too many flowers and the "nice" poly gown-- about an hour into reading off names, a chick who was in my greek tragedy course hands the guy her card, and without so much as a beat he mechanically reads off,

"xena, warrior princess."

took him a bit to recover... "princess" kinda trailed off into a question :)
***

perfect.

i graduated at red rocks in denver. in fact, the year of our graduation, we were the only class to do so (it was raining the rest of the week). do a google image search on it, it's amazing.


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the dorm had the rep of being, lesbian heavy-- who knows :)
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i'll bet you do.

pax.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006 4:05:00 AM  

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