Haiku SlugFest Taunt (+ Norsk Trivia of the Moment)

This from VA Vegan


Good sir,

I discovered your site a week ago or so via a comment you left on emichaelharrington.com (he's a former professor of mine), and have been enjoying it (the site, not the comment--er, not to slight the comment) thoroughly since. Your haiku, stories and observations, methinks, are sharp-witted and amusing. I aspire to, someday, achieve your level of quality in my own haiku. But I digress...

I'm bugging you for two reasons:

1. I am humbly seeking your permission to add a link on my blog, fuh-ku.blogspot.com, to yours. I think visitors to my blog (all three or four) would find yours to be most rewarding. I will understand if you don't want the additional burden of one to two additional visits a year to your site!

2. In reference to your tribute to Norway: I thought you might be interested to know that the 2005 Tour de France's Maillot Verde (in English, Green Jersey, which is awarded to the most consistent sprinter) was awarded to none other than Thor Hushovd (pronounced hoos-hahv-ed, or so I'm told). He is the first Norwegian to win the coveted sprinters' jersey. Also, since he was the national champion in 2004, he got to wear the national flag on his jersey during all races that year. So you can find lots of images of him adorned in Norway's flag, if you are so inclined. I am a cycling enthusiast, so pardon my submission of this bit of trivial knowledge, if it seems gauche. Otherwise, have fun with it!

Cheers,
VA Vegan


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My response
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Homeslice,

First and foremost, thanks for reading. I truly appreciate both your kind words as well as your taking the time to write to me ...

... And because you've been so forthright in telling me your feelings on your haiku, I'll tell you a little secret about mine -- I feel the same damn way. I used to publicly belittle my writing all the time, and then one day, less than a year ago, in fact, I stopped banging it and I think my poetry got better as a result.

I think. I'm not sure.

But I can tell you this, for certain. You think your stuff's bad because you aspire to be better. You conceive of better. You understand better. (You may even be afraid to try for better.)

BUT

People right now are envious of you and your ability. There are people who can't and/or don't write at the level you do and (I'm guessing) they never will. A natural artist can't understand how someone cannot draw -- and that's in much the same way that you can't understand how someone couldn't just as easily slop together 5-7-5 in the way that you do. But that's only because you're a natural.

I don't know how much you've studied about haiku, but it's a water that runs unbelievably deep. If you're a hardcore purist, it goes well beyond just the concept of 5-7-5 and starts dealing with things such as "attacks," "seasonal words" and breathing (for the love of God). If you want to pursue the very purist of all of these paths, you're automatically doomed to failure because it's a form of perfection that cannot be attained. That doesn't mean you couldn't try to, but it sure as hell means that I don't.

The day you'll take a personal step forward is the day you say, "You know what? I'm writing this 5-7-5 and I don't give a damn about anything else," or even,"I'm writing 5-7-5 and I'm intentionally going to try and write it poorly (or mocking, or stick it in the face of Japanese culture, or whatever)."

There's nothing that says you can't have your own style and your own way. And there's nothing that says you can't call it "haiku" -- let the purists fight about it. (I touch on this a bit in a conversation that I had with my pal karpov about tanka.)

Pick a path. Walk it. Change it if you so desire. But do NOT shirk, do NOT apologize for actions that you're taking for yourself, do NOT be self-mocking and do NOT be afraid.

You can write, son. So just do it. Don't hide behind any modesty (false or otherwise). There's no one on this planet that is more or less important than anyone else. And I will argue that if you get the best at writing your form of haiku, you're a better human being than at least half of the rest of the people who crawl the planet.

You know who my hero is? Gwion. You know why? Because she just puts it out there. She's got a million things working against her ... I'm guessing she's something like 16 years old (think: teachers, horny boys, backstabbing girlfriends, bitching parents, no money, endless fashion victim, raging hormones, etc.) ... And if that wasn't bad enough, she's Canadian for the love of God ... And yet she hangs over here in this den of semi-evil with a bunch of snide bastards who think they know better than the rest of the world, and bangs out the occasional poem or comment. She doesn't worry about what the people says, she doesn't talk herself down, she just does it. All good attitude, all right on the mark. I've got a lot of time for that kind of behavior and that's why she's Queen Poet Laureate of b1's world.

In fact, if I have any criticism of your work it's that you're not doing enough of it. Write more. Volume will improve your quality -- because you'll quit sweating each little detail when you have to hammer it out every day. Write it. Look at it the next day after you've written the next one and go back then and tweak it if you want. Just keep writing 'em.

And I don't want to hear any of this lame, "Oh, but I'm so busy," or, "But someone has to feed my dog," or, "What about my children?" Here's truth: Right now I'm working about 14 hours a day, seven days a week. I've been doing this for about a year. This is not sane and it's certainly not a right way for a human to behave. I recommend it to no one. But guess what? I get 17 syllables out. My friends (and God and the Jones Soda company) forced me to start writing this damn thing, but now I do it for me. It's one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. I'm busier than you are and I can do it, so you sure as hell can.

You've got the spark. Light the fire.

But hey, I'm not all lip service and I feel so adamant on this topic that I propose the following to help your chlorophyl digesting being: You, and I (and anyone else who wants to join in) will have one week of Haiku SlugFest. The rules are simple:

* You must write at least two haiku a day.

* The topic of the haiku (or other prescription, like a specific word to use) that you write is determined by your opponent.

BUT

I will not compete against an opponent who openly declares "none of the quality" about their work on their blog, because that, my friend, means you're not worthy. I refuse to compete against junk. So, for the duration of the SlugFest (at least), you have to change your tag line (yes, on both the bottom and the top). If I feel that you have beaten me in the SlugFest, you have to take it down that statement forever (but don't worry, you won't beat me -- or at least, I won't admit it).

Think about it, put on your WWTHD (What would Thor Hushovd do?) bracelet, and comment back here to let me know.


As for your question:

Do I want to whore myself out to your pal(s) with a link on your site? Of course. Links are the commerce of the blog world, I've decided I want to be rich. I'll link back to you once I'm clear of the fjords here.


Pax,
b1

P.S. If your comments relative to yourself are some tongue-in-cheek joke to yourself, and you're actually some heavyweight established writer, I take back the entirety of what I've said and instead leave you with a simple thought: "fuh-ku."

Will this be VA Vegan?

Or this?

[Note added 31 Oktober: The terms of the slugfest are defined and can be found here.]