To-do list on death

from The Accomplice this AM, for future non-email reference.

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Date: Mon, Dec 19, 2022, 11:27

My vague understanding is that your mom's estate wasn't in trusts? Because of that, I've left off all the steps that pertain to trust management. I wrote and reread this a couple of times, but it's likely got typos and other errors. Just ask if you have any questions.

First, it's important to know that the average time for closing an estate takes more than a year. I closed my Dad's in about a year; Mom's is going to be finished after three years (because of pandemic IRS stuff). Your mom's life was getting pretty small, so you might be able to take care of things a bit faster? But just a heads-up for both of you. Patience and tenacity in the face of bureaucracy. Many baby steps to achieve large progress.

In no particular order:

My mom's attorney helped do a bunch of things immediately: identifying and notifying beneficiaries, including legal filings (establishing me as trustee, whatever with probate, helping find appraisal people, etc), help distributing a couple of cash gifts outside the immediate family. For the trusts, we got new entities (to replace Mom's SSN), filed something about non-trust cash being less than an amount (avoiding probate), and helped interact with the accountant about taxes.

Date of Death (DOD) Valuations: appraisals (usually property, so likely your mom won't need these), securities valuation statements (Schwab produced those for me, through their estate team), checking-account statements, etc that show the value on your mom's DOD.

Canceling or closing non-bank accounts: Social security (possibly initiated by the person who helps with the cremation?), medicare and any supplemental insurance canceled (is there more than one--mom had two supplemental types I think?), voter registration form, return handicapped placard; return DMV ID or Driver License; any renter's insurance cancelled, life insurance (if any) claimed. You'll know better than I do about how to let the people know about her annuity. Inherited IRA distributed to beneficiaries.

Residence: You're likely all over this. I had to negotiate because my Mom had her own assisted-living apartment and furnishings and she passed on the 3rd of the month, so had just paid rent for December. I got her place cleared out (with help) by the 15th, and they pro-rated the rent.

Banking and credit cards: Keep a careful list of your expenses to share (I have had to create a spreadsheet that is shared with all the beneficiaries every year-end). Check autopays including items from the non-bank accounts list; clear checks. I don't know what to do if the banking is not in a trust, but those banks like in-person visits! Before distributing funds, I set up a non-interest-bearing checking account with a reserve amount to pay for things that cropped up (such as we still haven't purchased my Mom's headstone, and we have to pay the accountant to prepare the taxes for one more year--this is the last one of her estate.) You'll have the storage unit expenses until you're done with that. Mom's estate paid for mobile shredding. All these people need copies of the Death Certificate. Few keep them these days (they scan them and hand them back). There's gotta be something here about the role that 67 plays with regard to bank accounts, and how the accounts are labeled--ours were all in the trust and had to be closed and reopened with me as trustee--outside a trust, there are likely things that the banks can tell you.

Taxes: I'm not sure how non-trust taxes work, but my Mom's 2019 taxes had to be broken up into two returns--split into before and after her Date of Death. But that's because of the trusts, maybe? So, pay attention to the accounting, and be ready to pro-rate things before and after her DOD. The estate in my mom's case passed through the end-of-year taxes to the trust beneficiaries via K-1 forms (like business partnership forms).

Memorial and remains: Because of how I operated the funeral (and knowing most of my family would be a bit tight on funds), I had Mom's estate pay for the travel and expenses of the whole family, not just the direct expenses (cremation, burial). Items that were paid for by the estate before I distributed the funds: obituary; cremation (we made our own collaged "urn" for mom, purchasing the cardboard-ish box for her remains; otherwise, you'll have to choose an urn; gratuities to caregivers; poster boards for photo displays, catering, flowers, location rental (for the memorial). Flowers for burial. Headstone, uh, soon. Family created a spotify music playlist that we played during the memorial. Travel expenses for memorial and burial as noted before.

Estate Planning: The funds you each will receive are yours OUTSIDE your marriage. So this note really only applies to 67 directly. 67, you can set up a separate bank account and/or trust to receive those funds rather than mingle them. You can decide to distribute them separately from your other finances when you pass. I encouraged each of my family members to get their own wills/trusts/etc set up prior to them getting their beneficiary distributions. You may choose to mingle the money in your marriage, but it's a choice, not a given, even in California community property state. Take a look at this to-do list and remember that this list is for someone WITH an estate plan. Then imagine letting the Court take all the steps for you, and charge for it, etc.

Other weird thing: I had my Mom's USPS address forwarded to myself. If you do that with the post office, you'll get Lowe's coupons and things (because they assume you moved). All your mom's doctors will need to be informed (or you'll be getting reminders to meet appointments, etc).

Finally, if 67 serves as the executor, he is legally entitled to compensation. That should be figured out in advance. There are attorneys who will take over for you, and they usually do this (my understanding) for a percentage fee of the estate? I didn't charge my family for all my effort because it didn't take away from my business (during the pandemic). It's a hefty amount of effort to take all these steps over time. Just food for thought.

I'm thinking of you so much! Love to the b1 series!