open letter to mollaren
okay, back when i wrote my article on hookie bobbing, an entity named "mollaren" went out of their way to post this comment:
hi!
we did it too, in norway! it was great fun and exciting too, especially if the driver didn't like it, hehe! i remember once, we were so heavy that the car started spinning after a stop. the driver (a young guy) came out, told us if we pushed a bit we could skitch as much as we liked. so we did, there should have been more guys like him! when i think about skitching now, it makes me a bit horny imagining that physical contact with a car, a car which might struggle a bit....
this is impressive in any number of ways -- the biggest ones being:
1. mollaren actually made this account solely to make a comment on my blog. (very impressive, indeed.)
2. the fact that any random norwegian has mastered english well enough to know the word, "horny." (assuming, of course, that this isn't a what might loosely be described as a reindeer term.)
so i've written not one, but two, open letters to mollaren. this is necessary because i have a birth defect, namely, i was born american. because of that, i have no true understanding of the world around me -- only the vaguest idea that i can (and probably should) bomb any or all of it. my birth defect is such that i don't know if mollaren is male, female (or possibly some third gender that exists only in norway). {in my defense, i asked a finnish friend the sex of "mollaren" the name, and she didn't know either -- but then again, she's finnish ... people like that aren't even allowed in nato.}
dear mollaren the male (mollaren det mannlig),
thanks very much for taking the time and effort to register with blogger, merely to make a comment on my blog. your command of not only english, but also the deeper nuances of hookie bobbing, is truly amazing ...
... but, i'll be honest with you, your words are also more than a little frightening. getting horny at the thought of hookie bobbing is unsettling at best, and in norway, i suspect a crime. i've been watching my site meter and seeing hits come in from bergen. i'm praying that this is just you, and not some band of freaks trying to bring a whole new meaning to the term "auto-erotic."
unbelievably, i was in bergen once. a truly beautiful city that i enjoyed except for a brief glimpse of some deranged norwegian man trying to mount the end of a train. i think we both realize the evil truth here. i fear for you and pray for you, and am comforted only in the knowledge that there are several thousand kilometers separating us.
behage utebli,
b1
***
dearest mollaren the female (mollaren det kvinner),
thanks very much for taking the time and effort to register with blogger, merely to make a comment on my blog. your command of not only english, but also the deeper nuances of hookie bobbing, is truly amazing ...
... and please know that i find your words both erotic and comforting. i admire anyone who is so in touch with their sexuality. i'm the very first to admit, although only privately to you here, that the thought of you hookie bobbing and making physical contact with a car makes me horny as well.
i start daydreaming and my mind wanders ... i can picture us sprawled naked on a musk ox hide in a high arctic field, with large bottle of aquavit, and a suggestively shaped lutefisk ... fox prance nearby in the meadow, with nothing more separating us from the big outdoors than a meter thick mosquito net and a car bumper.
or maybe you'd like to have our physical pleasures in my part of the world -- make love the b1 way ... say, something like a $30/night motel 6 with a squeaky bed, a "just long enough" carnitas burrito, a bottle of night train, a tube of astroglide and an endless stream of low-riders screaming unintelligible spanglish at each other as they thump by on the boulevard outside our window.
i see both as being truly romantic possibilities.
i'm a bit psychic with those whom i share a "deep connection," and i sense you may be in bergen. correct? i believe i saw you there -- a beautiful looking norwegian woman, yes? someone who appears naturally smart and aware? light skinned with brown hair, am i right? we made eye contact and you smiled (never mind that my ex-wife insisted it was a grimace). we had a moment. we both felt it. we can get it back.
i sense we have a bright future -- but oh, if only you were a few countries closer, and the concord was still flying.
jeg onske du a ha meg barn,
b1
hi!
we did it too, in norway! it was great fun and exciting too, especially if the driver didn't like it, hehe! i remember once, we were so heavy that the car started spinning after a stop. the driver (a young guy) came out, told us if we pushed a bit we could skitch as much as we liked. so we did, there should have been more guys like him! when i think about skitching now, it makes me a bit horny imagining that physical contact with a car, a car which might struggle a bit....
this is impressive in any number of ways -- the biggest ones being:
1. mollaren actually made this account solely to make a comment on my blog. (very impressive, indeed.)
-and-
2. the fact that any random norwegian has mastered english well enough to know the word, "horny." (assuming, of course, that this isn't a what might loosely be described as a reindeer term.)
so i've written not one, but two, open letters to mollaren. this is necessary because i have a birth defect, namely, i was born american. because of that, i have no true understanding of the world around me -- only the vaguest idea that i can (and probably should) bomb any or all of it. my birth defect is such that i don't know if mollaren is male, female (or possibly some third gender that exists only in norway). {in my defense, i asked a finnish friend the sex of "mollaren" the name, and she didn't know either -- but then again, she's finnish ... people like that aren't even allowed in nato.}
dear mollaren the male (mollaren det mannlig),
thanks very much for taking the time and effort to register with blogger, merely to make a comment on my blog. your command of not only english, but also the deeper nuances of hookie bobbing, is truly amazing ...
... but, i'll be honest with you, your words are also more than a little frightening. getting horny at the thought of hookie bobbing is unsettling at best, and in norway, i suspect a crime. i've been watching my site meter and seeing hits come in from bergen. i'm praying that this is just you, and not some band of freaks trying to bring a whole new meaning to the term "auto-erotic."
unbelievably, i was in bergen once. a truly beautiful city that i enjoyed except for a brief glimpse of some deranged norwegian man trying to mount the end of a train. i think we both realize the evil truth here. i fear for you and pray for you, and am comforted only in the knowledge that there are several thousand kilometers separating us.
behage utebli,
b1
***
dearest mollaren the female (mollaren det kvinner),
thanks very much for taking the time and effort to register with blogger, merely to make a comment on my blog. your command of not only english, but also the deeper nuances of hookie bobbing, is truly amazing ...
... and please know that i find your words both erotic and comforting. i admire anyone who is so in touch with their sexuality. i'm the very first to admit, although only privately to you here, that the thought of you hookie bobbing and making physical contact with a car makes me horny as well.
i start daydreaming and my mind wanders ... i can picture us sprawled naked on a musk ox hide in a high arctic field, with large bottle of aquavit, and a suggestively shaped lutefisk ... fox prance nearby in the meadow, with nothing more separating us from the big outdoors than a meter thick mosquito net and a car bumper.
or maybe you'd like to have our physical pleasures in my part of the world -- make love the b1 way ... say, something like a $30/night motel 6 with a squeaky bed, a "just long enough" carnitas burrito, a bottle of night train, a tube of astroglide and an endless stream of low-riders screaming unintelligible spanglish at each other as they thump by on the boulevard outside our window.
i see both as being truly romantic possibilities.
i'm a bit psychic with those whom i share a "deep connection," and i sense you may be in bergen. correct? i believe i saw you there -- a beautiful looking norwegian woman, yes? someone who appears naturally smart and aware? light skinned with brown hair, am i right? we made eye contact and you smiled (never mind that my ex-wife insisted it was a grimace). we had a moment. we both felt it. we can get it back.
i sense we have a bright future -- but oh, if only you were a few countries closer, and the concord was still flying.
jeg onske du a ha meg barn,
b1
posted by b1-66er at 00:04
2 Comments:
If you think Bergen was beautiful, you should visit Lüleå. In the fall it can become quite rövpostej, as we say here.
I don't know if this is any help, but Mollaren is probably Möllaren, short for Möhlenpris, which , if I remember correctly, is a neighborhood in Bergen. The guy was telling you where he's from, not his name.
Good luck with finding him. Your Dictionary of the Khazars-approach is the only way to go.
By the way, your blog somehow gives me the feeling that you have some sort of terrible disease. If so, get well soon. If not, forgive this comment and feel free to delete it.
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